The Discipline of Joy

Enjoying life doesn’t come naturally for me. I once believed that if I built an enjoyable life- I would inherently be joyful as I lived it, but that hasn’t proven to be true. In fact, about once every five years I have to consciously remind myself to enjoy the life that I love.

I discovered that my preference to manage, host, lead and control experiences doesn’t always pair well with the endeavor of living in those moments. I can siphon the fun out of something real quick by taking it too seriously.

Receiving feedback like ‘just chill out,’ ‘have fun,’ or ‘let loose’ used to be as easy for me as calculus. I’m just bent towards being uptight. It took me a couple decades, but over time I have learned that practicing joy is a discipline for me. A real one. While it comes easy for some; it is hard work for a personality like mine.

I am capable of planning and coordinating a life experience all the way up until it is over.  To the point where I don’t actually experience it at all. I simply only managed the memory it could have been, and sadly- I know I have cheated myself out of some of life’s deep moments along the way.

There are few things in life that I have learned to be within my control, and joy often asks me to surrender many of them, cleanliness, schedules, quietness, efficiency, paved highways, cellular service, calculated decisions, and even late-night organizing. Unfortunately for this recovering-control-freak, life’s joy is all too often found in the harsh conditions of interruptions, messes, last-minute decisions, dirt roads, noises and drink breaks.

 When I notice myself experiencing resistance in a moment it is almost always because I am trying to manage life rather than live it, and as counterintuitive as it may feel- I refuse to let any more memories be stolen from me. Life is short, so I am choosing to learn how to enjoy it along the way. 

If you are a person who struggles to experience joy, you are not alone. I can help!